Noise

I’m a bit hesitant to write this post because it touches on a controversial subject. But now that I’ve typed that it probably makes you all the more eager to read this post right? We all love a good controversy

This is something that has been weighing on me for awhile. It has to do with the blogging/internet phenomenon that has quickly enveloped and defined our culture. As a 90′s kid, I remember my first encounters with the internet in the form of online chatting. E-mail became a big deal when I was in high school. Blogs first appeared when I was in college.

Back then blogs were mostly personal journals. Mine still is and always will be. My blog is nothing more than a way to update my family and friends (and I guess share an occasional thought about something). It doesn’t consume very much of my time and I don’t write on it very often. I don’t try to promote it either because I don’t really care about numbers, but I also leave it public in case an occasional former acquaintance stumbles upon it and is interested in what we’re doing.

But we all know that blogging is much more than that now. People make money off of their blogs. We all have certain bloggers we enjoy following and even look to for advice. This is especially true in the reformed Baptist world. Every big gun out there has a blog and is constantly analyzing the world through a Christian lens.

These are mostly encouraging. I say mostly because sometimes their unsolicited opinions on many hotbed issues tend to seep through. I guess that is what a blog is for (you are getting my unsolicited opinion right now). But the problem is that these opinions often come from places of authority and, dare I say it, an ivory tower perspective.

For example, I recently stumbled upon an article about gender roles by a relatively well-known seminarian. I believe in gender roles–God created men and women differently with different gifts and purposes to fulfill. However, I think we can all agree that the application of this to every specific situation in our lives may not look exactly the same for every person and every family. If you don’t agree with that please let me know in the comment section.

The author of this article didn’t mince words. He wrote all about men as sole providers, women as sole homemakers, the evils of daycare and delaying God’s ‘good gift of children.’ He used his own family as an example: how he works hard all day, comes home to a delicious meal, a spotless home and two beautiful children…and this is God’s perfect plan. All that’s missing is the dog. He and his wife look at the kids playing at the daycare across street and feel sorry for them because their lives aren’t nearly as perfect. Nice. I’m sure the mom’s of those kids would appreciate hearing his views on their sub-par parenting. Too bad they’re probably way too busy making a living to read his blog. Not everyone makes money reading and writing in a bubble.

You can sense my sarcasm and I don’t intend for it to be directed towards spotless homes, delicious meals, or beautiful kids. However, the tone of this article was very condescending and left me feeling completely condemned.

All I could think about was how Jared has to make dinner on the nights that I work. How we’ve been married for three years and we don’t have kids yet. How I’m not making homemade bread all the time or sewing curtains or plucking organic veggies from our home garden.  I was practically in tears when Jared came home because I felt like a failure.

When I told Jared about the article his response was simple, ‘I bet that guy and his wife are glad there are nurses to take care of them and their kids when they get sick.’

He has a way with words.

Then I realized, who in the h-e-double hockeysticks  world does this guy think he is? He doesn’t know anything about my life or the decisions we’ve made as far as work, kids, who takes the trash out, etc. Am I not honoring my husband? He is happy with me as a wife and doesn’t feel the least bit slighted by anything I do. And my job is to take care of sick people. Why should I feel bad about that? And when we do have kids, will we not do what is best for our family? And that might include me working or not working for awhile, I don’t know, but I do know it won’t involve looking across the street in a patronizing manner and judging what other people do.

My point is not really to debate gender roles at all, or even the specific applications, but to address the impact that blogs and the internet can have on our lives. I’ve talked with many women recently (some who do stay home and make bread with their beautiful children) who feel equally condemned because they are not crafty enough, organized enough, or talented enough to compete with what other women are doing in the blogosphere.

I even felt like I had to apologize to Jared the other night because I used alfredo sauce from the jar instead of making it from scratch.

And that is ridiculous.

Jared is helpful in walking through passages in Scripture with me that outline what it means to be a godly woman. These are always convicting, but never condemning. There are definite areas I need to grow in, but I never walk away from these passages feeling like I need to make more crafts, or that my job or lack of children right now is sinful. This is the life God has given me and my job provides the perfect opportunity to demonstrate the graceful and nurturing spirit that I’ve been given as woman. (You don’t have to point out that this post might not be the most graceful and nurturing thing I’ve written–I get that ).

So, yes, it’s helpful to read blogs but they are not the infallible word of God. In fact, sometimes they can be little more than the noise of a clanging cymbal. Let’s turn to Scripture and our own local body of believers, those who know us well, for our primary source of encouragement and admonishment.

*I do apologize if this blog came across as a clanging cymbal to anyone reading this. It was not meant to be instructional about the application of gender roles in any form or fashion*

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